Ready to Exhale

Take a deep breath in and hold it, hold it, hold ittttttt… keep holding.  This is how I feel.  I have been thinking so long about beginning service in the Peace Corps that I think I have started to turn a few shade of blue from holding my breath in anticipation.  And while I might now have the unfortunate fate of starting this adventure as a blue person, the time I have had to anticipate has been a real gift as it has provided me with the space to pursue a number of interesting opportunities that have allowed me to reevaluate and, ultimately, reinvigorate my decision to join the Peace Corps.

So now, on the cusp of a new adventure, I would like to share a few thoughts with you… (This is a very long post; please feel free to skip to whichever thoughts peak your interest.)

Peace Corps?

Yes, the Peace Corps.  In wanting to spend more time working in development abroad I looked at a lot of volunteer programs, graduate schools, and job opportunities.  In the end, the Peace Corps seemed like it would be the best fit for me at this point in my life.  I like the 27-month commitment, the mission and goals, language training, how well it is established, and ultimately that it will point me in the direction of community where I can make a home for two years learning a little more about the world and myself.

Ecuador!

Receiving my invitation to serve in… Ecuador (!) means more to me then I am able to express through words in this blog.  When I applied to the Peace Corps it was with the understanding that I would go wherever they placed me, be it some place in Africa, Asia, Latin America…  When I learned that I was going to Latin America I was thrilled beyond belief, then to learn I was going to Ecuador… it seemed like a practical joke, too good to be true.  I am still waiting for someone to call me up, letting me know that they made a mistake and meant to send me somewhere else.   

Ecuador has had a prominent hand in forming me into the person I am today because it was in Ecuador that I was first introduced to Latin America, the practicality of Spanish in my life, and fascinating Indigenous Cultures.  In brief two weeks service trips with Norfield Church, I was so transformed by Ecuador that, in college, I majored in Globalization concentrating in the global forces impacting Indigenous Peoples and the Environment of Latin America.  Within my studies I wrote papers about dictatorships in Argentina and Chile, read books about the startling and terrifying webs of terror in Columbia, I partook in a summer internship in Nicaragua, spent a semester abroad in Bolivia… Ecuador was mentioned here or there, but I never learned about it to the extent that I did many other Latin American countries.  My previous time in Ecuador has thus become a blotchy memory trumped by more in depth experiences and studies elsewhere. 

So, to be given the opportunity to go serve in a place that is responsible for planting the seed for so many of my other pursuits makes my commitment to the Peace Corps all the more purposeful.  I have a real emotional connection to Ecuador, and in serving there I feel I am fulfilling a commitment I made to myself a number of years ago.

Packing…

Packing has been an adventure in and of itself.  At this point I am not sure where in Ecuador I am going to spend my two years so I am packing clothing considering a placement in a jungle, mountain, or coastal region.  Not knowing exactly where I am going to be, I find myself packing as if I was going on an extended wilderness expedition.  What does this mean?  I am packing lots of layers and I cringe a little every time I put something 100% cotton anywhere near my backpack. 

            Besides clothing some random items on my list are lotssssss of art supplies to share with new friends, a few of my favorite children’s books, duck tape, my guitar strap, a book about growing sprouts, pictures of family and friends, spices, and a ridiculous pile of shoes.    

Goals.

Most of my goals and aspirations are still marinating in my head.   I will share them with you as I continue to learn more about my exact placement in Ecuador.  For now I will share with you one goal, the most measurable goal, and the one that relates most directly to anyone reading this.  I want to do everything I can to share this experience with anyone who is interested.  At the end of the day, what would any of this mean if I didn’t have friends and family with whom I could recount my stories and thoughts?  I am going to do my best to update this blog regularly, which to me means a few times a month.  In addition, I intend to draw a daily, note card sized, sketch of a takeaway image or feeling from the day.  I have another website where I hope to sporadically post some of these sketches (rebeccajeanb.com).  These goals might be a bit ambitious as I do not know what kind of access I am going to have to the internet, but, I will do my best.     

Fears?

Speaking Spanish, culture shock, being away from home for 27 months… perhaps these should sit at the top of my list.  But, at the moment they do not, these are the things I am excited about.  At the top of my list is, SNAKES…. They are so sneaky.  They always seem to pop up right under my shoe then squiggle into the brush in a way that makes my insides flip flop.  I find them so terrifying that I have become fascinated by my own fear.  Just typing this my shoulders are getting tense.  Anyway, I know that there are a lot of poisonous snakes in the jungle and maybe along the coast.  I am afraid of finding one in the treetop above me or in my shoe.  I realize this may be a completely irrational fear, and it does not necessarily relate my exact experience in the Peace Corps, never the less, there it is.  

Are you still holding your breath?  I am too, but, not for much longer.  Thursday I arrive in Ecuador and can finally exhale.  Emptying my pent up breath so that I can make room to inhale every moment of this new adventure.  I do not anticipate future posts will be this long.  At the moment I have a lot of time to sit and consider things and I wanted this first post to adequately set the scene for what is to come and give you a sense of my general perspective.